Advocacy
Personal Advocacy
Levels of Self-Advocacy
There are four types of Assertive Self-Advocacy
Type One: Basic Assertiveness
Speak up with a simple statement of needs: "Please speak a little more slowly."
Type Two: Assertive Self-Advocacy with Empathy
Show the other person that you are trying to match wavelengths with them by noticing their situation or feelings. You become a role model to them of how you want them to behave toward you. "I know that you are really busy, but if you speak a little more slowly, I may be able to understand you the first time and you won't need to repeat for me as often."
Type Three: Escalating Assertiveness
If at first you don't succeed, don't give up! Instead, become increasingly firm. Firm - "I am going to have to insist that you slow down a little when talking to me. Please, pause more frequently." Even firmer – "You need to slow down when you talk to me. If you don't, this could have a negative impact on our relationship." Firmest – "If you don't make an attempt to speak more slowly, I'll be forced to conclude that you don't really want to communicate with me."
Type Four: Assertive Self-Advocacy with "I" Language
When efforts to assertively self-advocate have been less than successful and we are left with negative feelings which we need to express, doing so with "I" language is the best way. The "I" language helps us to express anger is a helpful way.
"I" statements have three parts.
Part 1) When you do . . . (describe the behavior).
Part 2) the effects are . . . (describe how the behavior concretely affects you).
Part 3) I would prefer. . . (Describe what you want).
Example: "When you continue to speak too fast, I feel as if you don't care enough about me to address my needs. This makes me angry. I want you to do whatever you can to make sure that I understand what you are saying."